I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize