Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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