is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
