i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize