About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I skipped work to stalk him.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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