is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
