I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
