summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
