White coat. Heels.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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