Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
