Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
