some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
my liver is dry heaving
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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