thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
