wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
