I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i drank out of a bidet.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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