If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
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But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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