I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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