My brain says no but my pants say off.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
