:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
