Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a hospital.. check
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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