Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
