i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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