apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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