So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
