just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
