The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
