Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
