The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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