I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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