Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
