I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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