I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
