How'd it feel making her break her religion?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize