I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
