Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
