I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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