marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
