OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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