I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
