Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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