just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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