we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
