she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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