do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
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You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She told me I should be a condom model.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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