I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
