there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
