At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
