Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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