I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm getting married
To pizza
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
