his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
