lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
