I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
