kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
