Duck Duck Cougar?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
yeah, it was that bad.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave