Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.