your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.