I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.