reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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