I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
